I'd Be Lost Without My Doctor
by avenger.addict
Summary: The crew of The Enterprise is on a one year leave, and McCoy couldn't think of a better way then spending the first night at a bar, by himself, and a glass of scotch. Not that he doesn't like his crew, but the man enjoyed having a break, until later he discovers that he must rescue a certain captain. rated M because, there may be future smut fluff slash whatever you want to call it
1. Chapter 1

**Sooo... Please go easy on me. This is my first attempt at a Star Trek fiction. I'm nervous. *hides my face* My friend (Kafira-Chan) and I decided to write some fics for eachother... To help practice :D We balance each other. It's wonderful! :D Anyway! On with the fic!**

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**Chapter 1**

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McCoy sat at the bar as he drank his scotch, enjoying being on leave. He was glad to get off the ship for a while. Having to listen to the constant back and forth between Kirk and Spock started to irritate him. Whether they were getting along or not. He found that Kirk was the bane of his agitation.

Kirk was consistently going on missions and consistently endangering himself and not caring. McCoy couldn't care less, eh, well that was a lie. He cared. Hell he cared a lot.

Fidgeting with his tumbler of renewed scotch, the perspiration running along his finger tips as he twisted it. The bass thumped in the air as he listened to the music in the bar. _Why'd I even come to this bar? I hate this bar, I hate the people, and the drinks sucked,_ he thought as he drank more of his scotch and hissed at the burn a little.

McCoy decided it was his time to leave, and he downed his drink. He finished dealing with people. Yes, he was a doctor, but that doesn't mean that he enjoyed people. He leaned across the bar and waved down the bartender and paid for his tab.

Slipping on his coat, he got ready to leave the bar. As he got a few feet from the door he turned around, and hearing a crash in the corner of the bar and a few men yelling. He zipped up his jacket and shook his head mumbling, "Damn immature assholes."

Glancing over his shoulder out of curiosity and watched as three men ganged up on another. The man singled out put up a good fight but was well beaten. McCoy squinted in the dim light and saw the bright blonde haired man being thrown into a wall. He shook his head a little and pinched the bridge of his nose mumbling, "Poor bastard."

He looked again and recognized the voice from across the bar, "Hey, come on fellas. I can do this all night." McCoy grumbled a little realizing it was no one other than his captain.

Being Jim's friend, and the nice guy that he was, er well sort of, he strode over the corner pushing a couple of the men out of the way. "Dammit Jim! What have you gone and done now?" McCoy crossed his arms over his chest. One the guys grabbed McCoy's shoulder, turning him to look at him, "And who the fuck are you?"

Swatting the man's arm away, McCoy raised an eyebrow and gave the usual sarcastic and agitated look. "I'm the man's doctor. Now if you would excuse us, he's had far too much to drink and he needs to go home," McCoy glanced over at Jim and glared at him a little, then went back to the man who was staring him down.  
A small smile crept across Jim's sore, and swollen face. It made him smile that Bones was protecting him, coming to the rescue. It gave Jim a warm and fuzzy feeling in his stomach, or maybe that was the tequila, vodka, and many other alcohols mixing in his stomach. He felt his cheeks flush a little as Bones stalked over to him, grabbed his arm and started tugging him out of the bar.

Somewhere in the time of being punched in the face for hitting on someone's girlfriend, and oogling Bones a little, he was tugged out of the bar into the cool night air. Jim closed his eyes and hummed a little feeling the cool air on his face and neck. He glanced at Bones as he felt the grip on his arm tighten a little. Everything was a little hazy and all sound drowned out with the buzz he had.

Jim glanced at Bones under the street lights as the doctor questioned him, "What in the hell were you doing Jim? God dammit, look at your face. You didn't stand a chance against those guys. Where are you staying? How are you feeling?" Everything was coming out so fast, Jim just smiled and slurred a little, " 'm staying atthe motel down the street."

McCoy mumbled something in coherently under his breath out of frustration. He wrapped an arm around the Captain's waist as he helped walk the man down the street.

Without realizing it, McCoy's hand gently gripped at Jim's hip, and a small smile crept on Jim's face.

He leaned his head on the doctor's shoulder a little as they walked to the motel.

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Once in the room Jim was staying in, McCoy gently set Jim down on the bed and pulled his shoes off. He raised his eyebrow as Jim stared at him, "What are you doing staying at a motel on leave? Shouldn't you be seeing your family or something?"

Jim shrugged lazily and closed his eyes as he did so, "My brother, Sam, is dead, and last I knew my mother is back in Iowa. Think I'll go see her soon though." McCoy just nodded and bit his lip a little.

He sighed a little and murmured, "We gotta get your face cleaned up." McCoy went into the bathroom and got a warm and wet cloth with a small first aid kit. "You okay to sit up?"

Giving a slow and small nod, Jim slowly sat up, and put a hand against his head, the room slowly spinning. McCoy grabbed a chair and sat in front of the wounded captain and carefully brushed the cloth along his split lip. Jim winced and pulled back a little. "Come on, don't be such an infant Jim," McCoy furrowed his brows at Jim, and the captain huffed a little. He straightened a little and mumbled softly as McCoy wiped the blood away, "Thank you, Bones. I appreciate it."

Sighing a little McCoy grabbed another cloth that had cold water on it, "It's my job, Jim. Here put this on your eye. If not the swelling'll get worse."

"No, not fixing me up, er well, I mean that too. What I mean is, you coming and pulling me out of there," Jim glanced down at his feet on the floor avoiding McCoy's stare. He could feel those brown eyes burning into his face.

McCoy relaxed a little in his chair and sighed. He ran a hand through his hair and mumbled, "Well, I couldn't just leave ya there and let you get your ass whooped."

Jim gave a small snort and mumbled, "Wouldn't be the first time."

Slightly frustrated, McCoy stood up and paced the room a little, "Dammit Jim, you need to stop getting yourself into these situations! One of these days, someone isn't going to be there to pull you out or help you! One of these days, I won't randomly find you in a bar and be able to help patch you up!" He kept pacing and grumbled to himself.

Mumbling out a small, "Sorry," Jim rubbed at the back of his neck and kept his eyes averted.

McCoy stopped dead in his tracks and realized how upset Jim was. He dropped his arms to his sides and frowned a little. He moved back in front of Jim and knelt in front of him to look him in those beautiful, ice blue eyes, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you like that. I just... You..."

"Yeah, yeah. I know. Gotta be more careful and not be so careless," Jim recited to McCoy. He heard this almost every time he was in the sick bay of The Enterprise. _Gotta be more careful Jim, gonna get yourself killed Jim, dammit Jim stop risking your life,_ Jim mocked McCoy internally.

Gently taking Jim's face in his hands, McCoy carefully brushed a thumb of his cheek bone. "I say these things to you Jim, because, I would...I mean, we would be lost without you."

McCoy bit his lip, trying to repress the feelings he had for his captain, knowing he won't return them. Everyone knew Kirk, the womanizer and the horn-dog that he was. McCoy wasn't even sure if he liked men, for all he knew Jim was a homophobe.

Jim cocked and eyebrow curiously, "Were you going to say...you would be lost without me?" He still had a buzz, and his mind was still fuzzy, but he wasn't dumb either.

A slight blush crept across McCoy's face, and he quickly looked down to hide it. He took his hands away from Jim's face and fidgeted slightly. "I um... Jim...I meant we, I meant to say we, as in the crew."

He went to stand and pace again, but Jim caught his wrist and pulled him back down. "No. No you didn't. I know what you meant Bones," Jim barely whispered as he stared at the doctor.

Jim took his hand off McCoy's wrist and gently cupped his face with both hands. Completely disregarding the cold cloth for his eye. Licking his lips a little and ignoring the small sting from the split in his lip, he stared at McCoy seriously.

Instinctively, McCoy moved closer to those full lips and closed his eyes as Jim whispered, " I know that you meant, YOU, you would be lost without me." Taking a slow breath and slowly exhaling he murmured, "But you'd be wrong, Bones. I'd be lost without my doctor."

McCoy parted his lips to say something but, his train of thought had been derailed. He leaned forward, and pressed his lips against Jim's.

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**soooo There is my first McKirk! I hope you liked it. I would love a review! Hope you liked it Kafira-Chan!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Soo! I continued!**

**Oh FYI, this chapter contains mostly smut... I disgust myself.  
Then again, who knows. I may get more creative with this pairing in the future ;)**

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**Chapter 2**

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Realizing what he was doing, McCoy quickly pulled away from Jim and blushed tremendously. "I, I'm sorry Jim. I shouldn't have done that," McCoy shook his and head stood up.

Jim watched him a little more than confused, _Wasn't he the one who kissed me? Why is he apologizing? It was nice._ He stood up slowly, swaying slightly and watching McCoy pace. "Bones," he continued to pace as Jim took a step closer to him, "Bones."

The doctor continued to pace and grumble, murmuring to himself. Jim gripped at McCoy's shoulders and stopped him from pacing, "Bones, stop. It's fine. You did nothing wrong." He stared at McCoy seriously moving his hands from the doctor's shoulders to his face.

McCoy leaned into Jim's hands and hummed quietly. He missed having this feeling. He missed having an intimate touch of another. Looking up into Jim's eyes, McCoy bit his lip a little, "I just, I don't want..."

Jim dropped his hands and rolled his eyes, "You don't want to what? Hurt me? Take advantage of me, because I've been drinking? You don't get it do you, Bones?"

Crossing his arms over his chest, McCoy glanced at his feet and let out a small huff. "Exactly! It's exactly that," he let his arms drop to his sides and sighs, "Jim, I don't even know if you're just going with it because you're drunk or..."

"Bones! Don't be like that, if I didn't want something I wouldn't allow it to happen." Jim took a step closer to McCoy and McCoy took a step back. "I know you've been hurt in the past, but please, trust me."

Jim stood in his spot and chewed his lip a little, absorbed in the silence. He took a breath and looked down at his feet, "You don't think I return your feelings, do you Bones?" The young captain furrowed his eyebrows, worrying about McCoy's response.

"Please, Bones, be honest with me." Jim pleaded a little at the doctor's silence. He was never this quiet, and when he was, he was either mentally cursing himself or Jim.

Jim had hoped that he hadn't done or said any thing wrong to turn the doctor away. He chewed his lip a little and remembered, _that it was McCoy who mad the first move. It was McCoy who, in the small gesture, professed his love to Jim. It was also the doctor who pulled away and distanced himself from the captain._

McCoy let out a huff and rubbed at the back of his neck and threw his hands in the air, "Yes, alright! Fine! You've kind of grown on me, kid." His face started to blush and averted his eyes, and mumbled, "I just knew how you were with women...and I just didn't think you were okay with," he motioned between the two of them, "this."

Jim's smile grew a little at how uncomfortable Bones seemed. He took a step forward and McCoy didn't move.

Their chests were almost touching and McCoy's breath hitched in is chest a little. Jim stared at the doctor's lips for a moment then up into those brown eyes. "Bones, I am way more than okay with this," Jim gave a cocky grin and leaned up kissing McCoy hard.

He laced his fingers the McCoy's hair and bit at his bottom lip, hoping he had gotten his point across. McCoy groaned and gripped at Jim's hips and started to take control of the situation, forcing him against a near by wall.

Jim grunted a little and smirked against McCoy's lips and gave an experimental tug at his hair. A rumble erupted from the doctor's chest and pressed his hips against the captain's.

Jim's smile wasn't the only thing that grew and rolled his hips against McCoy's. Tightening his hands on the younger man's hips, McCoy pinned them against the wall. He stared into those crazy blue eyes and he mumbled, his southern accent coming out more, "You sure you want this?" His eyes searched Jim's, looking for a hint of hesitation, but hoping to not find it there. All he could find in those icy blue eyes, was lust and excitement. Just what he had hoped to see.

Jim let out a moan as McCoy moved his thumbs in hard circles on his hips, "Never been so sure about anything." He gasped a little feeling McCoy bite at his neck, and the gasp turned into a moan. He took his hands out of McCoy's hair and started to frantically tug up the man's shirt. Chuckling slightly, McCoy ceased his attack on Jim's neck and helped him get his own shirt off.

A small smile crept across Jim's face as he admired the doctor's revealed chest. Carefully, he traced down his sides and tugged at the tops of his pants pulling him into another kiss.

McCoy slipped his tongue into Jim's mouth and slowly explored every inch. He ground his hips against Jim's a little harder this time, pressing his erection against Jim's. The kiss didn't last long, as McCoy pulled away and tugged Jim's shirt up and off of his body.

He's seen the man topless before, but this was different. This was more intimate, he gently traced the muscles in Jim's sides and stomach and murmurs his accent becoming thicker, "fuckin' beautiful." He pressed a kiss to Jim's neck, earning a moan from the man, and kissed and nipped his way down his chest and over his stomach. He knelt in front of Jim and glanced up at him and sucked a bruise on his hip.

Jim groaned, lacing his fingers in McCoy's hair and pulling him away. He stared down at the man, panting slightly and mumbled, "Honestly, you're killing me Bones. Just bend me over and fuck me already."

McCoy let out a deep chuckle and stood, "geez kid, such a way with words." He rolled his eyes, grabbing the younger man's hips, and pulled him from the wall. McCoy pushed Jim on the bed and quickly unbuttoned his pants yanking them down with his underwear. Jim lifted his hips, helping, and moaned a little impatiently.

Dropping Jim's clothes on the floor McCoy couldn't help but chuckle, "Quit your whining, you'll get it soon enough." He started unbuttoning his pants and stared down at Jim ordering him to roll over.

Jim obeyed and rolled on to his front, wiggling his hips slightly. McCoy raised an eyebrow and smirked eying Jim's tight ass. He kicked his shoes off, along with his pants and underwear. He stood next to the bed and leaned down whispering into Jim's ear, "Hands and knees, now."

Jim nodded and quickly obliged. McCoy gripped at one of Jim's cheeks earning another moan from the man. Jim pressed back into the doctor's palm and heard the man chuckle, "So eager Jim." Smirking, McCoy took his hand away, giving Jim's ass a quick slap, "Lube, where is it, and don't tell me you don't have any. I know you Jim."

Letting out a small gasp, Jim tilted his head slightly, "Black duffel bag, on the floor, front pocket." McCoy gave another quick slap and went to the bag.

Jim closed his eyes panting and waiting in anticipation. He shifted slightly so he was resting on his forearms, keeping his face pressed into the comforter.

Soon enough, he felt a couple of slicked finger caress his entrance, and he let out a breathy moan. He pushed back slightly, hoping McCoy would just get it over already. His hard cock ached, and was dripping pre-cum over the bed covers.

"Ever hear the saying, 'good things come to those who wait'?" McCoy question as Jim shifted his hips back again, and pressed a finger into him. He slowly and tortuously worked his finger inside Jim, gently pushing deeper and deeper. He pressed his finger against that one sweet spot and soon enough, Jim was writhing and moaning under him.

Letting out a groan of pleasure and frustration, Jim looked back over his shoulder, "Come on, just get on with it! You're torturing me!" He gave McCoy his best puppy dog face and pleaded, "Please!"

Hearing that last please and the look in Jim's eyes had done it. Without any preamble, McCoy thrust in another finger, twisting and stretching Jim's hole. He bit at his lip as Jim squirmed and moaned under his touch and smirked a little.

Carefully he added a third, twisting and scissoring his fingers, and the other hand gripping at Jim's hip, keeping him in place.

Feeling as though Jim was ready, McCoy pulled his fingers from him and chuckled hearing the man whine. Lubing himself, he held onto Jim's hip and the base of his own cock and pressed against Jim's hole.

McCoy groaned a little as he pushed deeper into his captain, and kept pushing until he was fully seated inside Jim. Panting, and gripping desperately at the bed covers, Jim looked over his shoulder and nodded, wiggling his hips slightly, causing himself to moan softly.

Giving a nod, McCoy pulled back slowly and snapped his hips forward, and closed his eyes, listening to the noises Jim was making. He started a quick pace and dug his finger tips into Jim's hips. Gritting his teeth a little and groaning, "aah fuck, Jim. You're fucking perfect."

Jim felt himself blush even more, and moaned in return, pushing back against McCoy with his quick thrust, "mmm...right..ah...right there...oh God, don't stop." Angling his hips differently, McCoy thrust hard back into Jim and kept brushing against his prostate, causing him to tighten around McCoy's cock.

Jim was a panting, moaning, and drooling mess under the doctor. He felt himself shudder and groaned out, "Fuck, not much longer..." His cock was aching at the lack of stimulation, and kept slapping against his stomach with McCoy's ruthless thrusts.

McCoy kept the hard and fast pace, keeping a hand on Jim's hip. He reached around Jim and started stroking his neglected cock int time with his thrusts.

Soon enough, Jim was gasping and moaning as he came in McCoy's hand. Jim's body tensed as he came, and quivered slightly. McCoy gave another hard thrust, and gave a harsh grunt as he came inside Jim.

Both men panting and exhausted, relaxed slightly. McCoy gently pulled from Jim and collapsed on the bed beside his captain. They both laid there in silence, but it wasn't a bad one, it was a comfortable silence, the smell of sex mingling in the air with hard pants.

Jim was the first to break the silence, rolling over onto his back and stared up in the ceiling in a post coitus daze, "That...was amazing." A grin slowly came across Jim's face as he closed his eyes. McCoy glanced over at Jim and smiled a little. Sure, Jim was easy on the eyes, but the way he looked after he just got fucked into oblivion, fucking amazing.

McCoy hummed a little in agreement, he shifted slightly and pulled the sheet over them. He laid back and closed his eyes almost dozing, then he felt the bed shift. He peeked an eye open and found a mess of blonde hair resting on his chest. He wrapped an arm around Jim's shoulder and gently played with his hair a little.

McCoy's smile grew and finally closed his eyes, listening to Jim snore against his chest and dozed off to sleep.

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**Well then! I hope you enjoyed this! I enjoyed writing it! AAAAH THE SMUT!  
Reviews are lovely by the way...**


	3. Chapter 3

**yay! the next chapter! woot!**

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**Chapter 3**

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Shifting slightly McCoy wrapped his arms around his pillow and hummed softly. He buried his face in it attempting to block out the sun as he awoke. A small smile crept across his face as he remembered what had happened last night.

McCoy was surprised at himself that he had told Jim how he felt. Well, he really didn't though. All he told Jim was that he would miss him if something ever happened to him. Good enough right?

Biting the inside of his lip a little he wondered if that really counted as telling someone how you feel about them. Of course not. He had been married once already, and look where that had gotten him. Although, if not for the divorce, he wouldn't be here right now.

He let out a small huff and snuggled down into the bed. He didn't want to get up and face the world, there were people out there, and he was not awake enough to deal with them yet. Especially to deal with Jim at the moment.

No sooner than McCoy woke up, he felt the bed shift and felt a pair of arms wrap around his stomach. He stiffened a little before relaxing slightly and let out a slow breath. Humming softly, McCoy felt finger tips gently caress his stomach.

Jim's nose gently rubbed at the back of McCoy's neck, and gently pressed a kiss there. McCoy relaxed slightly, and smiled a little. He thought about rolling over and seeing if those bright blue eyes were watching him, but he decided against it. He was too engrossed in the moment.

Smiling a little, Jim kept placing small kisses along McCoy's neck, knowing he was awake. He pressed a kiss behind the doctor's ear before smirking and nipping at it.

McCoy moaned softly and smirked. Jim chuckled quietly whispering against his ear, "Knew you weren't asleep Bones." Jim smiled and nosed at McCoy's jawline, murmuring, "Thank you, again."

Rolling over McCoy looked into those baby blues and smiled a little. "Jim, just...stop. You would have done the same for me. I couldn't just let them kick your ass." His eyes moved over Jim's face, taking in every detail. He had such young and happy face. Jim gave a small smile as he stared back.

"You know what I mean Bones," Jim sighed and propped his head up with his hand, "what I meant was, thank you for coming back to my room with me. Thank you for having sex with me."

McCoy bit his lip a little, afraid to tell Jim how he felt. He ran a hand through his hair and took a deep breath thinking, Might as well get it over with. "Jim. I um I gotta tell you something," McCoy sat up and fidgeted with his hands nervously, "I um, I think I'm in love you with you." He licked his lips a little and glanced over his shoulder nervously.

Jim gave a knowing smile and blushed a little, "I know."

McCoy closed his eyes not really paying attention, "Yeah I know, I'm ridic...wait what?" His eyes snapped open and looked at Jim slightly shocked.

The smile on Jim's face grew even more, "I said, I know. It's pretty obvious. You're very protective Bones. You're consistently worried about me, and I've seen the way you've looked at me, plus, I wouldn't have egged you on so much last night if I thought you weren't interested."

Blushing, the doctor averted his eyes and chewed his lip a little. He mumbled quietly, "So um, how long have you known?" McCoy glanced down at Jim tentatively.

Jim smirked and chuckled, "For a while now," he sat up and rubbed the back of his neck a little, "would you be mad if I told you something?" He moved his eyes from the bed sheets up to McCoy's face.

McCoy gave Jim his signature eyebrow raise, "Depends on what you did I guess." He shifted on the bed a little, turning so he could look at Jim better.

Jim hid his face in his hands slightly embarassed and mumbled, "I started the fight on purpose, because I knew you were there. Hoping something like this would happen." He peeked out from behind his hands expecting to be yelled at, have something thrown, anything.

Letting out a sigh, McCoy rested his head in his hands and shook his head slightly. Mumbling a few curses under his breath he finally looked back over at Jim, "You do realize you could have just come and talked to me right? Instead of risking yourself getting injured or something."

He felt his protective side start to seep out again, but relaxed slightly. There was no use in arguing with the kid. It didn't matter how many times McCoy told him to be more careful or stop risking his safety. Jim just kept endangering himself. It was almost like he was doing it for the adrenaline rush.

"Well that would have been too easy," Jim smirked as he leaned up, pressing a kiss to McCoy's lips, "and no fun." He chuckled a little before getting out of bed a little stiffly and heading for the bathroom, still naked from last night. Glancing over his shoulder, he chuckled a little as he spotted McCoy eying him up and down. Jim winked and chuckled, "You're more than welcome to join me."

Shaking his head and letting out a small chuckle, McCoy climbed out of bed and followed Jim to the bathroom.

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**Sooo. just as a heads up. I have no idea where I'm going with this. I'm just kind of winging it. Sorry it's so short. :/**


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